By Roberta Bárcena

As the year begins and our intentions are set, how much are we expecting a certain result and trying to rush the outcomes instead of softening into trust. 

I keep seeing all these memes all over my IG account about how January has felt like 5 months already, and to be honest it makes me so happy. I’m a capricorn, my birthday is in January and it always feels like people are rushing over the month, to restart the beginning of the year in February all over again. So this little cappy is bustling with joy at this prolonged January sensation everyone is feeling. And this takes my right to what I decided I wanted my 2020 word to be: SOFTEN. 

To soften. Doesn’t that just on its own sound so warm, light and vibrant? Like you can breathe and hold space for love and creativity? I found myself over the course of my existence to be gripping and holding on to things in such a rush to get things done, have that relationship become official, manifest x, y and z… So I was like my perception of everyone else with January just rushing over it, setting loose intentions, and just waiting for February to restart; but with my life. 

So this 2020, I decided I was going to take the rush factor out of every situation, relationship, and scenario. This 2020 I will soften the grip and allow myself to let things and people move at their own pace, including myself. This gripping sensation comes down to control, to wanting to foresee every single detail of every possible outcome. And rationally we all know, I know, that is not possible. 

As I begin to soften, I realize there is such a beauty in the not knowing and as my courageous idol Brené Brown puts it, being comfortable with uncertainty is a superpower. It is a wonderful gift I have chosen to give myself, to give myself the permission of working my passionate little heart with all its might without conditioning the work to the result. To allow myself to breathe, even when I am unsure of what’s to come. 

The hard edges of my vision begin to blur with softness, I begin to navigate this unforeseen field of opportunity that lies all around us. When we allow to soften, to let things come to us, instead of chasing life tirelessly. When we aren’t burned out, our lives start to become more manageable. We have a better relationship with ourselves and we can see our actions in a different light. We can observe our learned patterns and choose what to do next, with way more awareness. Because there is no grip, there is no rush, keeping us wrapped around our experience, we have more space to become our own witness. 

In that space that softness brings, there is so much more room for love and trust. Sometimes we just have to trust. Trust that we are being guided by God, Intuition, the Universe, however you conceive that higher intelligence that rules Nature. Guided to see ourselves with more awareness, to make better choices, to bring in more joy in our lives, and to embrace our current reality even as we begin to shift it. 

This might be an invitation for you to see where you can soften in your life, or it might just be my chosen word for 2020, but I do wish this year is one for the books for us all around. 

As the chains become undone

the grip loses it hold

a field of flowers starts to grow


a vibrant light 

not unknown

holds me around

in a gentle embrace

like a warm bath

with scents that caress

my body is filled with grace


About the author

Roberta Bárcena is a writer, poet, podcaster and spiritual guide, all her work is founded on Radical Acceptance as the source of inner and outer harmony. She is a vulnerability expert and through diverse methods and disciplines she guides people to better manage their emotions and trauma, be happy in their own skin and live an authentic and genuine life. She has done extensive training in the field of yoga and meditation, breath work and creative writing. She is currently studying to become a certified Kundalini teacher. 

Podcast: En mi piel Podcast. 

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