Tina Dominguez participated in the first virtual Alegría Poetry Slam on July 18, 2020. Thank you to all the wonderful poets who participated.
I walk through mami’s threshold
ready for the usual barrage
of “ugh que tienes puesto”
or one of its siblings
instead I’m met with
“Aye mija! Why don’t you ever comb this poor girls hair! No es justo, me odia verla así!”
I look down at my 5 year olds perfectly coiffed head
ringlets
I finger combed
delicately
adding just the right proportions
of shea leave-in
coconut oil
& hope
She has a light halo of frizz
because curls like life
nunca son perfectos
I remember
being so scared of comb
so tired of hours
under dryer
so over salon talks
about
“Pelo malo, pelo bueno”
how what I had was good
it was easily manipulated
easily made into
a more acceptable form
My mother in the corner
Puerto Rican
proud
stern euro-centric features
willing my hair
to match her own
Despite
All my father’s Afro-Dominicano
painted onto my pallor
and coursing
through my curls
silky
smooth
limp
Look
at how they
so feared us
they left the fire
of colonialism
in our blood
See
how they still
try to burn
all the parts
of us they
cannot
tame
Wonder
at how angry
they be
You so untouched
by magic of melanin
but still so full
of amnesiac ancestor
Mejorando la raza
pero la raza más fuerte
brilla clara
Pelo
de nena Boricua
nena Kiskeyana
piden que se
Cálmate
Compórtate
Cállate ya
My whole life was straightening
my back
my tongue
my attitude
so fingers could easily run through
so wind had no barrier
& warmth became the enemy
Be more pliable
easily morphed
easily tied
Be more likable
less loud
less emotional
Straighten up
Obeja negra
let them shear those coils
You might be presentable
underneath
My daughter
tried to brush her hair today
I watched as she learned
some messes
are meant unkempt
Some things
are beautiful in chaos
convoluted coils
hide mysteries
meant to remain
as such
Slowly
I worked the stuck brush
out of her pajon
Gently
so she would know
Que no tiene
que doler parecer
a tu madre
It doesn’t have to hurt
to resemble your mother